1. Save the whales. Collect the whole set.
2. A day without sunshine is like...night.
3. On the other hand,........ you have different fingers.
4. 42.7 percent of all statistics are made up on the spot.
5. 99 percent of lawyers give the rest a bad name.
6. Remember, half the people you know are below average.
7. He who laughs last thinks slowest.
8. Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.
9. The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese that is in the trap.
10. Support bacteria. They're the only culture some people have.
11. A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.
12. Change is inevitable, except from vending machines.
13. If you think nobody cares, try missing a couple of payments.
14. How many of you believe in psycho kinesis? Raise my hand.
15. OK . . . so what's the speed of dark?
16. When everything is coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.
17. Hard work pays off in the future. Laziness pays off now.
18. Every one has a photographic memory. Some just don't have film.
19. How much deeper would the ocean be without sponges?
20. Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.
21. What happens if you get scared half to death twice?
22. I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.
23. Why do psychics have to ask you for your name?
24. Inside every older person is a younger person wondering what happened?
25. Just remember - if the world didn't suck, we would all fall off.
26. Light travels faster than sound. That is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
27. Life isn't like a box of chocolates. it's more like a jar of jalapenos. What you do today, might burn your butt tomorrow.
28.there is so much good in the worst of us and so much bad in the best of us is doesn't behoove any of us to poor mouth the rest of us.
29.I used to complain about my old worn out shoes until I came across a man that had no feet. So, I took his shoes......hell, he didn't need em !
30. Hookt On Foniks Werkt Fer Mi
31. SOME PEOPLE ARE LIKE SLINKIES ..... THEY ARE NOT REALLY GOOD FOR ANYTHING ... BUT THEY STILL BRING A SMILE TO YOUR FACE WHEN YOU PUSH THEM DOWN A FLIGHT OF STAIRS.
32.Calling an illegal alien an "undocumented immigrant" is like -Calling a drug dealer an "unlicensed pharmacist."
33.Any married man should forget his mistakes, there's no use in two people remembering the same thing.
34. REMEMBER, GROWING OLDER IS MANDATORY. GROWING UP IS OPTIONAL
35. Always remember the words of Mark Twain: "Don't expect too much of human beings. We were created at the end of the week when GOD was tired and looking forward to a day off."
36. Rap is to music, what an Etch-a-Sketch is to art.
37. Good looks will get you a good looking woman with a good body but only $$$ will make her tail wag ---that's why they call them "Bitches".
38. "Ever stop to think...and then never start again?"
39. Remember, what is common knowledge to some is a revelation to others.
40. "We cannot expect the Americans to jump from Capitalism to Communism, but we can assist their elected leaders in giving Americans small doses of Socialism until they suddenly awake to find they have Communism."Soviet Leader Nikita Khruschev, 1959
41. "If in this life you have a good wife, at least one good dog, 1 good horse, 1 great fishing boat and a decent truck to pull it with and enough sense to know which is the most important then you have truly been blessed."
42.More Gov't control is easily translated into= If you turn your guns into plows, you'll spend the rest of your life plowing for those with guns.__________________
43. " Those who love deeply never grow old; they may die of old age, but they die young."
44. "True friendship is like sound health;the value of it is seldom known until it be lost."
45. He is your friend, your partner, your defender, your dog. You are his life, his love, his leader. He will be yours, faithful and true, to the last beat of his heart. You owe it to him to be worthy of his devotion.
46. Remember that the best relationship is one in which your love for each other exceeds your need for each other.
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